Sometime in the future, in a galaxy far too familiar, a new hope arises and the Imperium strikes back. Must be Zack Snyder’s Rebel Moon, a 4-and-a-half hours attempt to menace us with cloned IP.
The plot (co-created by Snyder, Kurt Johnstan, and Shay Hatten) is barely worth reckoning with. Evil Dreadnoughts pilot colonial moons, ensuring that rebellion is outlawed throughout the universe. Also outlawed: jokes, and clothes that aren’t caked in mud. Kora (a strong, badass warrior) must assemble a team of memorable, distinctive misfits, such as Tarak (a strong, badass warrior); Titus (a strong, badass warrior); Milius (a strong, badass warrior); Nemesis (a strong, badass warrior); Jungkook (a strong, badass warrior); SUGA, (a strong, badass warrior); and C-3PO (a strong, badass ROBOT warrior).
Some credit goes to Snyder’s admitted strengths as Director of Cinematography: much here looks awesome as a still photo, and battle scenes are legible (a rarity these days). There is ambition and a sense of world-building here. Snyder is not half-assing these worlds: he’s full-assing them. Also, I’ll say it: this dour Star Wars replica is better than at least 3 other Star Wars movies. (You know which ones. Those would have benefitted from dourness: their unintentional jokes are somehow worse than the intentional ones.)
But Snyder and his collaborators can’t seem to stray for one daring second from a Hero’s Journey so joylessly schematic that it offers none of the mystery or wonder one demands from space exploration.
I struggle with how to NOT deploy the word “derivative.” But then detecting derivativeness is the curse of critical experience- perhaps the curse of life. Some kids may be awed by Rebel Moon, just I was once awed by Star Wars. (I sure didn’t dismiss THAT as “Buck-Rogers-meets-Kurosawa.”)
One would have to time-travel to the first decade of cinema to gather truly “original” dramatic experiences. Melies was flying rockets through space long before Rebel Moon; Snyder’s explosion-filled battlefields might as well be superimposed upon D. W. Griffith’s Battle of Gettysburg.
Maybe people really did freak out in 1896, when the Lumiere Bros did that trick with the train, (doubtful) but I guarantee even then one snob scoffed at its derivativeness:
“Pbbbt, a train. We’ve had photos of those for half a century. This one just moves a little. Give me a good old stereopticon any day of the week.”
HANSEL CASTRO'S HALLUCINA 