The Star Wars Movies ‘They’ Don’t Want You To Know About!

The Ewok Duology! Caravan of Courage! The Battle for Endor! The Star Wars movies THEY don’t want you to know about! Except they recently took them out of hibernation and put them up on Disney +, figuring by now Star Wars fans (or ‘SWans’, as they prefer to be called) will swallow just about anything …

Star Snores : Zack Snyder – “Rebel Moon” (Parts 1 and 2)

Sometime in the future, in a galaxy far too familiar, a new hope arises and the Imperium strikes back. Must be Zack Snyder’s Rebel Moon, a 4-and-a-half hours attempt to menace us with cloned IP. The plot (co-created by Snyder, Kurt Johnstan, and Shay Hatten) is barely worth reckoning with. Evil Dreadnoughts pilot colonial moons, …

Parano-AI: Collin Kelly- “Batman Beyond: Neo Year”

How does one fight a city? In Batman Beyond: Neo-Year, Neo-Gotham (the electronic infrastructure that governs city life, from traffic lights to the power grid) has awoken from its digital sleep. Its first order of duty is the murder of elderly Bruce Wayne- by accelerating his pacemaker. Left standing is young Terry McGinnis - Wayne’s …

Pride of Frankenstein : Yorgos Lanthimos – “Poor Things”

Yorgos Lanthimos’ latest,  set in a fantasy-steampunk Victorian London,  is simultaneously his most unhinged and most approachable film. Emma Stone plays Bella Baxter, a Bride-of-Monster-of-Frankenstein creature who- after committing suicide for reasons that Kate Chopin might have related to- has been revived by mad scientist Godwin “God” Baxter (a scarred up, scary, yet fatherly Willem …

Final Flight : Hayao Miyazaki – “The Boy and the Heron”

Legendary animation director Hayao Miyazaki has retired from filmmaking a couple of times already. Perhaps he wonders: “If I stop… Then who will make Hayao Miyazaki movies?” Because he knows the world needs Hayao Miyazaki movies. And the world needs Studio Ghibli. (Studio Ponoc, I pray for thee!) It’s hard to conceive of a better …