Once upon a time we had motherf***n’ Snakes on Planes! We had Con-Air planes loaded with CONVICTS! We had a presidential Harrison Ford kicking people off Air Force One planes! Liam Neesom’s planes were NON-STOP!
A whole great era of airplane concepts!
But now we just have a plain Plane?
Surely you can’t be serious!
This is the most complacent, presumptuous, arrogant movie title ever.
Never mind that the movie itself is “fine” for “what it is.” That’s almost beside the point. It’s the assured way in which Hollywood now acts like a drug dealer with zero respect for its clients:
“Yeah. That’s right. Plane. That means a plane’s gonna blow up or crash or something. Gerard Butler’s in it. A real bang-bang boom-boom thrill ride. That’s what you junkies like, isn’t it? Don’t make me put any effort into it. It’s ‘Plane.’ It’s not going to be a fun Insane Plane. It’s not a scary Fright Flight. It’s not a poetic Crashfall or Deathdrop. Do you think you deserve that level of sophistication?
No, no.
This is beyond generic.
PLANE.
Be glad I didn’t call it Movie. Take it or leave it. But you’re gonna take it. I know you are. Because I know WHAT you are. That’s right. Hey, don’t look so disappointed, sunshine. I’ve got some classy stuff coming from the East Coast soon. Real bang-bang boom-boom thrill rides. Fast Car 10 and Robot Truck 7. See you soon!”
HANSEL CASTRO'S HALLUCINA 